There is something with me. Some real introvertishness you know. It just gobbles me up sometimes when I am in the company of unknown faces. And spits me back, shrivelled in a cocoon. Its not good. What’s not good is that I sink in it and I actually have to embrace it. I am it’s dependent. I am it’s slave. And somewhere deep down in me I know I have to slave away.
I have been an introvert all my life. I am still upto a certain degree. But recently I have decided to open up a bit. Be more free and casual and take things as they come. Be more friendly, talk to strangers and get to know them. And its turning out to be good for me. Take this year. I made so many new friends going on trips. And by this so many I can say with confidence that among them there are few good friends, the ones you can really count on. That’s one good thing about being an introvert. You tend to be choosy and connect with people only over a period of time, thereby giving you enough time to subconsciously analyze them and see whether they will fit in your crop of friends. Also it has enabled me to rekindle my old friendships and give them life. Its has been a good ride since then.
I think the number of Facebook friends don’t matter. I would any day prefer quality over quantity and that being said I have always been like this. Whether its to purchase a thing or not, I would sit and analyse it from all aspects, see if it is worth the money and effort you out into. I am in that way consciously conservative too. From my childhood itself I would plan out how to spend the money I have in hand. The trouble would come in the matters of food. So here you have to plan and make your choices accordingly for all are not affordable. And this has carried on ever since. But nowadays I feel I sometimes close my eyes and buy stuff online you know. Sometimes. I still don’t know why I bought a pair of external speakers when I mostly listen to songs or watch movies and TV series with my earphones on. My mother was astounded when a pack of 20 hot wheels cars were delivered by the amazon agent to her. She thought I had gone nuts or had bought it to gift someone. But it was for me only, and I had a sentimental reason to buy it too.
If you ask me I would live to remain an introvert only. I am comfortable with it. Have been for the years. But I will try my best to open up to new people, new experiences, step out from my comfort zone for a while and explore the unknown and live free. This is who I am. This is my identity. And I will preserve and cherish it till my last breath.