I weird thing happened yesterday night. I think I finally moved on. Moved on in life from various things. It didn’t strike me initially but when I paid close attention to myself, I found out that I have moved on. A strange feeling. Also liberating too.
Now the question is from what? Ahhh, I would say moving on from that one person. The person being my first crush who recently got married. Yes she got married off to a fine guy and I wish them a happy married life with lots of adventures and love and what not. So I should have moved on way back then na, when it was evident that things wouldn’t work, or when she said she was committed and was gonna get married with a few years or at least when she finally got married off.
Nope. Guess I still hung on. Hung on for what I don’t know but yeah I hung on. There was absolutely no hope, not even the tiniest bit but still I hung on. It kinda became a habit I guess and I was feeling it taking the toll on me in some way or the other and at some typical times, when your mind is without any work and is free to fantasize and dream.
So how did I finally manage to move on? Well frankly, I really don’t know. Truth! I swear. It just happened and I guess I finally figured it out, that the habit I had developed was not there anymore and that I can live without it and that it didn’t matter to me anymore.
The moment I realized this, I felt elated. Happy. And more importantly liberated. I felt the anchor that was weighing me down was finally cut away and I was left to wander on freely wherever I want. It’s so good to feel liberated and free. And then everything around me felt so liberating and free and full of joy and happiness, just waiting to be discovered and acknowledged.
This is kinda like an accomplishment for me. I would reward myself a thousand points for this, which I would use to prepare myself for my future endeavors and adventures. Ahhh the feeling of freedom and joy. I guess this was to come and I am happy it came now. No nothing is special now or I am not in a grave situation or something like that. It’s just that I feel this was the apt time for it to happen. Simple.
And now I feel I should make the most of it. I should use this time and this occasion to pan out my path and build on it. Apart from that person, there were other things that were tying me down. For instance the writer’s block. I hadn’t penned anything for the last three months and now I can write daily a page. That’s a good return you know. I mean I am able to write what comes in my mind freely and openly. And then there are other things too which are still weighing me down but have lost their hold on me. A little effort from my side and I think I will be able to cast away them too.
This feels good. Really good. I am writing out of happiness and joy and feel no obligation to anyone when I write and what I write. This is freedom at its best. This is good. This is great.
And oh yeah, I have started to be more open with people. Yes I am an introvert and would love to remain that way but I am also trying to open up to same wavelengths. For that I need to experiment which I am able to do successfully now. This year’s resolution was that and I am so happy to see it at least being followed and implemented by me. All in all, life’s good and things are happening for the best I guest. So I better set my sails on in the direction the wind is and have an awesome adventure filled life ahead.
P.S. She was my crush. Ok. So naturally she doesn’t know. And I would rather not let her know. After all it was just the feelings inside me. So let it remain there. I have finally moved on. Thank you.